


Death and all his friends

by lonely_is_so_lonely_alone



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M, Reaction's to Derek's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 10:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3933172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonely_is_so_lonely_alone/pseuds/lonely_is_so_lonely_alone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Addison gets a phone call, Izzie reads about it in the paper and Cristina knows the moment she hears Meredith crying - Derek is dead. </p><p>Three women react to the neurosurgeons death and all come to the same conclusion;</p><p>It hurts</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death and all his friends

**Author's Note:**

> This is set post 11x21 as 11x22/23 hasn't aired in England yet and I live in England. :)

-Addison-

  _Every now and then I fall apart._

She puts the phone down and feels

_numb_

The tears don’t fall

(not then at least)

-Izzie-

_I don’t quite know how to say how I feel._

She reads about it in the paper

and reads it and reads it

(Just to be sure)

but her eyes stay on the article

just that bit _too_ long

-Cristina-

_Where did I go wrong?_

The words don’t make sense

(How could they?)

Derek is dead

And _nothing_ makes sense

It’s just like last time

And the time before

And the time before that

-Addison-

_Now and then I get a little bit lonely_

It can’t be real,

Not this, not him,

After everything,

Everything he has _survived_ ,

 For some reason she can’t stop thinking

About the waffle maker he bought her

For her 23rd birthday

(Stupid isn’t it?)

-Izzie-

_Those three words are said too much_

She’s not sure why she feels like she does,

Staring down at the article.

She left that part of her behind

A long _long_ time ago

In rainy Seattle

That wasn’t her home

And yet she feels like something’s missing

(And it hurts)

-Cristina-

_And I pray to God he hears you_

She can still hear Meredith’s voice,

crying and _crying_ over the phone.

saying words on repeat,

‘he’s dead, he’s dead’

He is dead

(It’s like Lexie and the forest)

 

-Addison-

_I don’t know what to do_

She doesn’t tell anyone

not even Jake,

her husband,

Not to start with at least

not until she’s staring at Sam,

and at Naomi

at Derek’s friends

And it just _falls_ out of her mouth

The whole time she’s thinking of Mark

and how Derek is with him now  

(they were best friends after all)

-Izzie-

_We don’t need anything_

She goes to work

and everything is the same

except it’s not

Because every so often

she thinks she is there

at Seattle Grace

With _Alex_ and Meredith

and Cristina

and George

(It’s not even called that anymore)

-Cristina-

_Between the lines of fear and blame_

She doesn’t sleep

How could she

with the woods and Derek

looping

again and again?

His screams

Arizona’s cries

Mark holding Lexie’s hand

And the _tapping_

How anyone could sleep with that

noise in their head

escapes her

But it always comes back to Derek

(Of course)

-Addison-

_There’s nothing I can do_

She doesn’t cry herself to sleep

but lies there

scared of what she may dream

In the end it is of him

and Mark

standing in front of her

and she can _never_ reach them

And it hurts

when she wakes

(Because she’ll never will)

-Izzie-

_Let’s waste time_

She thinks about phoning

sending her condolences

but knows that

it’ll mean nothing to Meredith

She might not even _remember_ her fellow intern

It’s been so long

after all

But when a boy with a tumour appears

at work

she thinks of Derek

and it hurts

(Just a little)

-Cristina-

_And I would’ve stayed up with you all night_

She talks to Meredith

in the middle of the night

for days

Happy not to sleep

Happy to stay away from the dreams

of all the death

All the people

who have been

_lost_

Sometimes she thinks to Owen

and that leads back to Derek

and thinking about them

hurts

(Doesn’t it always?)

-Addison-

_Total eclipse of the heart_

-Izzie-

_Chasing cars around our heads_

-Cristina-

_Had I known how to save a life_


End file.
